Hats Off to Autistic Impressions

Dude, for about ten minutes this morning, Apartment 2, that's us, were cat owners. It was so weird. I woke up from a dream about getting a dog in the apartment, and Sharyn runs into my room to say there's a cat howling in front of our door. So I look out, open it, and the coolest cat just comes strutting into the apartment. So we took little Oskar home... but it was an adventure. And I'd like to think that my dream proves my amazing psychic abilities... even though it was a dog and not a cat. Whatever, alright? Stop smothering me in your web of condescend..ation.? hah.

Drea was over last night and we did some impressions that I thought were pretty amazing. Swans, shaking chihouha's, and the like. But then there was the autistic security guard at 1019. Ok, granted the guy is probably not autistic, he has a severe speech impediment. But he's the nicest dude ever and talks to everyone and jokes with them... even though no one understands what he's saying. And how do you RESPOND to that?

"Ahararalaha relahararoa huh? huh? ahahaha!"
"Um, haha. Yeah! Good one! Man, you are one funny guy."
"Ahararalaha relahararoa ra hara raha!"
"Hah.. yeah... alright, well... see ya later!"
"rara!"

Honestly.

And he looks at you with this expectation in his eyes, as though you know exactly what he's saying. And even when you OBVIOUSLY don't, he makes it seem like you do. How noble is that. He probably asked us where we were going and we responded with "yeah man that's awesome, later!"

So, here's to you, austistic / speech impediment ridden security guard in 1019. What a guy.

QUOTE OF THE DAY
MilesJonathon: Ok, so are you possessed and in a cult? Did they touch you in your special area?
MilesJonathon: Did you drink the holiday punch?
MilesJonathon: Are you riding the magic rainbow to the mothership?

Ripley's Believe It or Not

Ok so I had something cool to put in this thing but then completely forgot. So sorry everyone has to miss out on that really awesome, life-changing comment or story or whatever it was.

Instead, I'm going to tell you a really funny story.

Megan (my roomie)... her brother broke his penis yesterday. I know, I know. Not possible, right? WRONG. How freaking hilarious is that? I mean, really not funny at all in the moment, no. But MY GOD that is so funny. He apparently got up from a nap, tripped over some shoes, and fell down wrong. Thus hearing a "pop," and I guess the cartilage snapped (similar to a nose-break) and everything turned black and swolen and he rushed himself to the hospital because he had cut off circulation and they rushed him to surgery and he's fine now. Still able to have kids. But wow. Imagine being the doctor on that case. haha. Poor guy.

So now Pat's like a living legend. Totally suits him, though, the man is insane (in a good way). He just attracts random things to him. So, yeah.

Sorry if anything in this post made anyone squirm for any reason, but let's face it. You enjoyed that story. Sick bastards...

QUOTE OF THE DAY
ricechex10: we are all little school girls inside
KyllyansRed: I think you're right. giggles and all.
ricechex10: haha fuck yeah.
ricechex10: wait little school girls dont say 'fuck'
ricechex10: well shit.

Fuck You, MBTA

The Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority word association game:
bastard, mother fucking, late, obnoxious, horn, ding, dollar bills, quarters, green, cold, mean, evil, unholy, jesus haters (what?), unfortunate, pieces of shit.

That didn't go quite as planned. Your turn.

If I were a super hero, I think my super power would derive from my gloves/mitten things. I can't survive without them. I just can't figure out what super power they would give me. It has to be something awesome. So discuss amongst yourselves. No, seriously... suggestions? They could be magnetic, or they could be used to suck the life out of people... or they could grow metal claw things when I get angry and then be used to heal my broken broken body... or i could just think of my own power and skip the X-Men references.


QUOTE OF THE DAY:
aretheiranyleft: oh my god i heard about your lack of bloodflow to you hands and such.... is it true?!!!
Auto response from KyllyansRed: I'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers
i'll be alright when my hands get warm
aretheiranyleft: oh no!
aretheiranyleft: the rumors are true
aretheiranyleft: apox on thee who curse'd you so

Take One for the Team

So there's a point when you see the TA sitting up front, sweat forming on her forehead, angst in her eyes, that you think to yourself, "I am going to bring it upon myself to save her from her overwhelming feeling of failure and anxiousness." And then you put your reputation on the line just to cause a stir in the classroom, to get people talking and to get your poor TA out of the hot seat.

That, ladies and gentlemen, was my only accomplishment today. (kinda sad, huh) I acted like I didn't understand the purpose for reading this one book in class (denying the obvious) just so other kids could be inspired to talk about why the book was important and basically, passively, call me a moron. And hey, it was ok. I took one for the team. Everyone in the class got a self-esteem boost because they understood the obvious and I "didn't," the TA goes home happy because the class learned how to participate, and I go home with the knowledge that I have that kind of manipulative power under my fingertips.

In other news, who's counting down for Spring Break? ME. Sleep will be had.

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
KyllyansRed: I feel like clearing out my buddy list
KyllyansRed: so many people I don't talk to
KyllyansRed: i'm sick of reading their away messages
lzhang323: don't do it, you know you'll miss their gay ass away messages in a day
lzhang323: and you'll feel lonely and like you have no friends otherwise
KyllyansRed: i guess you're right.
lzhang323: i'm so right
KyllyansRed: i'm glad you've realized i base my self worth on the size of my buddy list.
lzhang323: it's not a realization. i know, there's no question.

Beanpot Review

Ok so BU chants are so much better than any other school's in the Beanpot. BC chants "BC" and "Fuck BU" in this really creepy military tone, and that's really all they've got. Which is fine, because they LOST. Northeastern is alright but they don't draw as big a crowd, and they aren't quite as creative as we are. Harvard doesn't even friggen show up for the game. I don't know what that's about. Maybe Monday nights don't work for those guys.

The theory behind the Beanpot is pretty shady. Ok so tonight it was Harvard vs Northeastern in the first game and Boston College and Boston University in the second game. Northeastern and BU won, so we play for the cup next Monday. But Harvard and BC play also on Monday. So that's the shady part. I mean, Harvard and BC are playing to see which loser is the biggest loser. And that's fine, I guess.. for us, because we'll be playing to win the Beanpot. And it would be nice to see Harvard beat Boston College... man, that'd bring BC to its KNEES... but I won't count on that. On the upside, if BC does win on the 14th, they'll still be LOSERS.

So yeah the game tonight was intense, as all games should be. It's all about the rush, baby. The T ride home was also a lot of fun. But I can't sleep cuz I'm pumped. But now I'm feeling tired. So I guess it's good I wrote here.

Hockey is such a great thing.

QUOTE OF THE DAY
Jagaur3: Oh, poor suburbian BC kids. they're probably still moping on the T about having their asses kicked. haha. i'm not a sore winner

Story of a Dirty Pirate Whore

Did anybody else notice that in my picture here I look retarded?

I thought so. Anyway, here's something you won't laugh at.

Previously... on Monday...

MilesJonathon: You are a dirty pirate whore.

Today

MilesJonathon: "Hey baby, wanna go halfsies on a bastard child?"
MilesJonathon: = new best pick up line ever.
KyllyansRed: hahahahaha
KyllyansRed: thats amazing
KyllyansRed: sometimes jon, just sometimes, you make my day
MilesJonathon: ...
MilesJonathon: Sometimes Killian, sometimes, you are a toothless pirate hooker.
KyllyansRed: hahaha
KyllyansRed: what's with the pirate theme?
MilesJonathon: Look Killian. I dont ask why you're a hooker? and you dont ask why I think you're a pirate? ok?

I don't know what to say about that. But I thought it was funny. Maybe it's just me... and the pirate.

I See the Shadow of a Groundhog

So Groundhog's day. Six more weeks. Has it ever not been six more weeks? I don't remember a year where the poor guy didn't go racing back into his hole. You think it's really his shadow that he's afraid of? I'm guessing it's the crowd of people looming over his shoulder. I'd be pretty friggen paranoid, too, if that kind of sketchy thing happened to me.

On to better things. So yesterday in my US History of Intellectual Thought class (yeah it's as confusing as it sounds) we were talking about existentialism. And me, being an existentialist for the most part, enjoyed it. But this one dude, Henry Adams I think, was all about returning to the age where people worshipped the virgin, because it symbolized the unity of medieval thought. Ok it's complicated and I don't want to get into it, but it made me think to myself "Hey, it really does all come back to sex." And it DOES. What is our deal? Ever since biblical times, we've been fixated on sex (obviously it's part of our biology) but then we go and consider the abstinence of it HOLY? WHACK!!! If that doesn't seem like some fucked-up reverse psychology, then I don't know what does.

So also. I don't know a lot about this, but I do know that certain religious martyrs believe that they will be greeted in heaven by 40 virgins and whatnot. So the question that I pose is this: once you get to heaven and do all the virgins and have your fun, do you realize they won't be virgins anymore?? I mean it seems kinda pointless if you look at it that way, doesn't it? That's right biotch. Then you'll be stuck in eternity with 40 ladies who just realized that you're a bad screw. How's that for blowing yourself up? Think these things through, people.

Alright that's all I got.

QUOTE OF THE DAY
Auto response from NovaStarK: The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel is appropraite. Be prepared to justify your decision.

Tribute to Cool Hand Luke

I mean the horse, not the movie. I was thinking about it today, because I was counting my steps before jumping onto the sidewalk, and that's what you have to do when you ride. Count the steps before hitting a jump. Right. So I'm thinking about riding, and how badly I need to do it, just for sanity's sake, and then I start thinking about Luke. Good old Luke. I miss him. He was seriously the best. Totally wise, man, totally wise.

Brief Anecdotal Tribute:
-Whenever anyone else would ride him, if I was sitting on the fence or standing in the ring, he'd walk over to me and just stop dead in his tracks. He refused to move unless I was walking with him. It was so obnoxious. But really cute.
-The one time we were riding through a sandpit and he randomly dropped and started rolling in the dirt. I was so pissed. But it was funny.
-The time we worked with the cross-country course and kicked everyone's asses and totally showed that jackass guy up. flippin woot.
-Early mornings cleaning his stall. Late nights with long stories.
-The time he almost had colic and I had to skip school to walk him around for hours... in a foot of snow... while wearing my pajamas. (did I mention something about walking uphill both ways?)
-The time he jumped out of his stall window (wtf?) and sliced his leg. I had to gauze that thing every day for the longest time.

Ok that's enough.
I've seriously got to ride. I mean how ridiculous is it that I'm giving a tribute to my old HORSE in a blog?? Have I turned retarded? Probably... but just to prove how retarded I've turned, I'm gonna add a picture at the end. So we can ALL SEE LUKE IN ALL OF HIS GLORY. (I felt like yelling there?) But that's all after the quote of the day, of course...

Quote of the Day:
KyllyansRed: what's the good word?
quesaDIA 2359: food
KyllyansRed: are you going to leave me for it?
quesaDIA 2359: 9 times out of 10.

(it's the best I had.)

Cool Hand Luke