sibs

this picture makes me happy. 

Take Your Wings Outside, You Can't Fly in Here

It's official. I am a Godmother. Spiritual advisor awayyy! I'm the worst Godmother ever already. If I were ACTUALLY going to be "spiritually advising" Lauren, I'd be like "Listen. Don't get all wrapped up in the church thing, ok?" And then the church would stone me to death. Thankfully, these days, it ain't nothin' but a title, but it's fun nonetheless. Wait... does this mean I'm going to have to get her nice presents on the holidays?

Today is a picture day. It's a picture day because I say it is. So get ready for some pictures.
Let me take you through a "How-To."

HOW TO HAVE A BAPTISM:
In three easy steps!

Step 1) Find Godparents and a Priest that you like. And a church. And a baby. And... be Catholic.


Note the Baptismal set-up:
-Godparents on one side (me and my cousin Liam).
-Priest in the middle (that's Father B, he's been a long-time family friend... he goes to all of our family gatherings/events... including Thanksgiving and Christmas. And family BBQs. And I've never questioned it... until now!!)
-Parents on the other side (Sue and Paul.. holding Lauren).
We're pretty casual about everything. But that's why God hates us. That harder core you are, the more God loves you. That's the Catholic way! *thumbs up*

Step 2) Give everyone a job.

-The parents hold the baby.
-The priest pours holy water on her head and says things that are important about God and whatnot. Actually, he talks the whole time about God and whatnot and everyone mechanically replies "we do" and "amen" when necessary... that's very important. Very important, indeed.
-The godmother (ME! THAT'S ME!) dries the baby's head with a sacred towel... yes, sacred. Well... it has to be white... that's what makes it sacred, I bet.
-The godfather lights the holy candle that represents something really important. (Liam did a great job lighting the candle, way to go Li! That was really tough work! jeepers!)



Look at me doing my job!
This is pretty much my only responsibility... ever.
It's a pretty sweet deal.

Step 3) Take Pictures
and make the baby wear the holy garments.
and only baptise the cute babies, because only the cute ones are allowed into Heaven.
It's the rules.



My Goddaughter... Lauren!
She's way cute. I enjoy her.
She'll SO be allowed into Heaven now that she's had holy water dumped on her head and such! Hoorah!

There you have it, kids. That is how a baptism works, in three easy steps. If it goes smoothly, it should take no longer than 10 to 15 minutes. Fantastic. Now, go out there, find yourselves some babies, and have a GREAT TIME!

The End.

In a related story, I'm going to watch Batman Begins tonight! YESSS!
And what else is cool? I don't know. I saw the director of the original Willy Wonka movie. That was pretty awesome. Remind me to tell you about that.

Also, on a more serious note. My grandmother is sick and we're pretty sure she's not going to make it through the week... and I saw her today and it was pretty rough on me. I mean it's always really hard to see someone you love on a death bed, who is legitimately dying. And I can't say I've ever been through anything that intense before. So anyway, it got me thinking about life. It's really cliche' to say something like "live each day like you're dying." So I won't. But I guess the only thing I can say, without being way depressing and getting into emotional stuff (because that's not why I created this blog) is that I challenge you to do that thing you really want to do.. today. Because who cares if you regret it? You'd probably regret not doing it more. And that's what I think life is about; taking those little risks, and experiencing those little (or big) experiences. Because even if it doesn't turn out well, at least you're not missing out on anything. So maybe that's the moral here: "Live like you don't want to miss out." I like it. It stays.

goodnight and goodluck.

QUOTE OF THE DAY
Loller Hockey: so are you the best godmother ever?
KyllyansRed: YEAH!
KyllyansRed: sorta
KyllyansRed: i think?

Like I'll Never Be the Same

Do you believe me now, Keith? DO YOU? Ass.

So I have some fun news for all of you. I was woken up this morning by the sound of someone messing with the change on my desk, and a man's voice saying, "what the fuck is that noise? is somebody up there??" and then grabbing at my roommate's blankets. To which I shot up, and he jumped, and said, "Holy shit! You scared the shit out of me!" And to which I replied.... groggily... "Yeah, uh... likewise!?" It was the pest control man. He invited himself in and thought nobody was home. I think I am missing a couple quarters off of my desk and there is rat poison under my radiator. Not something I want to wake up to every morning, let me tell you. I am thoroughly reconsidering wanting to wake up to a man every day... especially if that man grows up to look like our pest control man.

Other fun facts about my week? I was chased by a squirrel who was after my nuts. (trail mix nuts). She was devious. I liked it. Only, not at all.

Turns out there was some confusion with my tuition bill, which is just AWESOME. But it's bringing me closer to COM's coolest professor, Bowen, who offered to sponser a bake sale on my behalf (don't worry it was a joke i don't need a bake sale) and told me that he would commit murder to keep me in class. And furthermore, his emails are freakin' hilarious and I think I love him, as I love all people who are capable of writing hilarious emails.

Can I make fun of anyone this week? Yes, there are lots of people that I have encountered who are worthy of shitting on. But are they worthy of making the blog? ehh... not really.

Tony is, though. Tony is in Guam right now doing something for the airforce. He tells me stuff about it but I usually don't pay attention cuz I don't understand his 'military' words. Tony is defending our country. Tony sent me a picture of him on duty while defending our country. I am going to show you the picture that Tony sent me of him on duty while defending our country.


He's the one in the Batman shirt. I wouldn't expect ANY LESS from a friend of MINE.

PS. I had a dream the other night that I called Batman, who was on my cell phone's speed dial, and he picked up, but he was kinda busy fighting the Joker. But he was on his way because I was being surrounded by an array of sexual predators on motorcycles... and not the hot kind. I escaped without Batman's help. That's just how awesome I am in my dreams. Note: in my dreams.

Is it just me or is everyone I know having a horrible last couple of weeks? I feel like everything bad is going down all over the place for everyone. It's crazy. BUT, I think it's turning around. So keep your heads up, kiddos.

(Keith, you are currently being a bitch... I'm telling you I'm working on it. And I'm meaning it, damnit!)

I've got nothing else at the moment... OH!!!!!!! EXCEPT!!! I"M GONNA BE A GODMOTHER!
My uncle Paul asked me the other day if I would be his daughter's, Lauren's, (my cousin's.. you probably could have figured that out..) GODMOTHER! I've never beeen one of THOSE before! The whole thing is going down on October 22, so I'll put in a picture later so you can see how freaking cute this little girl is. I feel special. I always liked Paul. He was always the cool, younger, baseball playing uncle that all the kids liked. I think he was finishing High School when I was born. That's weird. I have no idea what it means to be a Godmother. In fact, I'm pretty sure it means nothing these days. But HEY, I will take the title AND the bragging rights, thank you very much.

Anyway, that is all. Thank you and good day.

QUOTE OF THE DAY
GanglyWhiteBoy: kill jeff
KyllyansRed: hahaha
GanglyWhiteBoy: no, really, kill jeff and i'll marry you.
GanglyWhiteBoy: seriously
KyllyansRed: but why jeff?
GanglyWhiteBoy: b/c he poses a threat to our love
GanglyWhiteBoy: jesus -- i'm listening to abba at full blast
KyllyansRed: hahahah
GanglyWhiteBoy: crap i'm a homo
GanglyWhiteBoy: get it?
GanglyWhiteBoy: satire

--i had a dream last night that Greg led me through a maze of hilarity and confusion.
true story.

P.P.S. All this talk about Batman made me think about Christian Bale. And then, coincidentally (i think it was fate) i came across this picture amongst my many. I want to have this man's babies. He makes me hot. the end.

holy HOT, batman!